We all have them- general ideas of what it means to be older. Maybe our idea is that older people are grumpy. Or older women wear dresses that look like tablecloths. Or older men smell stale. But NONE OF THESE ARE UNIVERSALLY TRUE. Because older adults are human. And humans are all different. So no claim about any one group of people is necessarily true about any one person.
What is a stereotype?
With or without respect to aging, a stereotype is a general idea we hold about a group of people (or animal or movie or art, etc....) that we believe to be true about each individual in that group. Examples of stereotypes are that women are bad at math, Jewish people are cheap, older adults are grumpy, or Black women are dramatic. In some instances, there is a kernel of truth in these claims- there may exist A woman who is bad at math, A Jewish person who is cheap, AN older adult who is a grump, or A Black woman who is dramatic. But just because this description applies to one person in that group, it doesn't mean that it applies to all individuals in that group. And while most of the time, these stereotypes are not used maliciously, they CAN be... and we've seen that far too many times in our society.
However, these ideas perpetuate. The most likely reason they continue is simply because it is mentally easier to believe one thing about a group, than the overwhelming amount of information that comes with knowing about each individual person IN that group. And, if it is not worth it to us to learn about each individual, we are unlikely to do the work. We're simply saving the mental effort for things that are more relevant to us in the moment for our personal circumstances.
Another reason we see these stereotypes live on is the large amounts of marketing around these ideas. In many instances, they are presented with humor. But in others, they are meant as scare tactics to sell more product (see my post on Dr. Mark Hyman for an example of this). Recently, I was flipping through the weekly Target ad to see what was on sale for the week (there was nothing that we needed) and I saw these games:
Obviously, these games are meant for entertainment, but they also obviously assume that gramps is a grump, granny only cares about herself, and our memories fail us when we get older. And then we play these games with our family, and the stereotype lives on. (I think it goes without saying that I will NOT be purchasing these games).
What is ACTUALLY true about older adults?
Much like any other group of people, older adults as a group are diverse. There are lots of different people with different beliefs, personalities, interests, and more. And, much like young adults or middle aged adults, older adults are unique individuals. There is no one universal truth about being older other than the fact that these people have been alive for many years.
Things that we assume about older adults are often untrue- grandpa isn't necessarily grumpy because he's a grandpa. He was probably grumpy when he was younger too (personality changes aren't particularly dramatic across our lives). Grandma doesn't love wearing tablecloth clothing- she probably has always liked flowers. And, being forgetful? That's either something someone always has struggled with OR is reserved for those with cognitive impairment associated with dementia or other health complication--- NOT old age. Of course, if you read through other posts on this blog (or posts to come), you will see some other truths about the aging process.
How can we adjust our thinking?
Recognizing when we use these stereotypes is the first step. Even if we have the idea, it doesn't mean we have to use it. I, myself, have these ideas stored in my mind too. But I know they are untrue. Being able to adjust our thinking then comes from repeating the correct truth about the individual(s) we are referring to, rather than defaulting to the stereotype. It is effortful, but we CAN rewire our thinking to steer away from those incorrect claims. And, really, making general claims about a whole group of people is bound to be wrong eventually- older adult or not. Humans are unique, and cannot be summed up in one statement. And that's the beauty of it!
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